I’m Bored: The Apprentice US Season 1, Episode 1

Coming back for a while with a rewind, why not?

Here’s the summary of Donald Trump

Donald Trump: Well I’m already a successful businessman, why don’t I become an author. (Later) Now every bookworms know about me, why don’t I join Oprah. (Later) Now everybody who owns a tv knows about me, why don’t I create my own tv show? (Later) Now my show has become a reality tv icon (in the UK at least), but I want something more, something bigger than sending celebrities to do meager jobs.

‘CLAP’

I know, with all these life experiences, why don’t I try to Make America Great Again, and become the president of the United States?

And just like that, despite spending half the amount of his rival, Hillary Clinton & the DNC, despite basically having no experience as a politician, and despite California & their 55 Democrat Electoral Votes…

He somehow made it happen, and this is our reality.

So to celebrate, here is the series where everybody know about him the most, The Apprentice, where the only season that this blogger watches fully is the Martha Stewart season (& you know how well that works out)

Intro: blah blah New York, Blah blah, I’m Donald Trump the successful businessman, blah blah, debt, fought back, blah blah The Apprentice.

The Show Theme Song: For The Love Of Money by O’Jays

With the full lyrics and the end where: “It’s nothing personal. It’s just business.”, very gritty as the show would be

Introduce the cast and how the game would be ran, a rather quick but boring intro that express who they are. Surprisingly, the editors give stockbroker Tammy Lee the additional bitch edit first.

But in 2016, the only person that people would even notice is Omarosa, who somehow managed to not get fired by Trump for the 4th time when working with him at the presidential election, maybe it’s because she somehow worked in the White House.

Tradition time, how the game works, male & female teams, the “eyes & ears”, job interview, get a job for a year, something that Donald Trump would already explain again & again if you watch either his series or Lord Sugar’s.

So for the Trump Suite, it’s kinda okay when you see it in 2016.

Tradition time, make your own team names, where they get jokingly judged by me

Versacorp (Men): Versa is from vice versa, although versa is as similar to reverse. Kinda like a corporation that is done in reverse?

Protege (Women): A surprisingly strong team name, since the definition (a young person who is taught and helped by someone who has a lot of knowledge and experience, courtesy of Merriam-Webster) is basically similar to apprentice, good job marketing manager Ereka.

Then the red old school phone rings (which people actually uses this), and they have to go to the New York Stock Exchange.

Task: Announced at the NYSE with starting the day of people around them frantically dealing with stocks, they have to sell…lemonades (which is back to basics to the kick in your gut in your American childhood) with $250 seed money. Time limit, before 7:30 p.m. at the end of the day.

Stage 1:
Versacorp started off strong with them getting some of their supplies for free by doing some kind of free marketing at the harbor (chosen by Kwame).

Protege wasted an hour, & managed to split themselves unintentionally in New York City, leaving only 2 members doing the selling on the streets for some time before getting reunited.

Stage 2:
The nightmare continues in Protege as stockbroker Tammy decide to have a lunch break, & surprisingly it’s Omarosa that tells Tammy to calm her down & work together, before Tammy muck some of her good graces up.

In Versacorp, Dave is not a good seller (& once chased down a biker, annoying everyone), and from the helicopter like some sort of eye god, Trump comment that the men’s choice of selling at a fish market seems to fishy & smelly for him, as there’s not a huge population for them to sell. Which in telepathy or using their own eyes, the team decide that they should switch locations.

Stage 3:
Protege: Uses Sex Appeal! Super Effective against men, and not very effective against dogs.

Versacorp : Even with another elaborate set up, they still have some difficulties in selling their lemonades, so Sam try to hire a random lady to sell lemonades, which got rejected. Then Sam decided to sell 1 lemonade for freaking $1,000, insert crazy devotion for any other netizens from the web. But they rebounded with more sales

Overall: In a show like this, even a basic selling task can end up making people crazy.

Results: Protege, 4 times over Versacorp 2 times.

Reward: Spending time with Donald Trump & his then girlfriend, Melania in the really ridiculous Trump suite full of Anglo gold style embellishments.


Blah blah how to deal with something really unique, blah blah Sam typing stuffs

Boardroom
Surprisingly, the eyes & ears actually give valid business advice about listening & location. But the most important part would always be

Danger Zone: Troy, Sam, David

(Seriously, Sam, asking everybody here to crawl towards the boardroom? Casting gold, agency. In truth I think that for the people in 2016, if Trump is that crazy on the Presidential Election, he would become someone like Sam, just pure lunacy without some sense of self-control, and cost him the election)

And after some more deliberations.

David, your fired, for not being a good seller & not being entertaining like Sam to keep for a while.

And just like that, the first episode is done, didn’t really want to blog for the rest of the season though.

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